why isn't love enough?

I keep wondering if i'm in the right place... the right moment and specially if im with the right person... A hufe part of me thinks that this is just my selfdestructive nature... i'm with because i can get hurt... but i believe u will hurt me... or maybe because i know i can hurt you.... But... after seeing everything u did over the past year i wonder... how do u do that to someone? to someone you say u love... how can u look at them in the eyes again... predent nothing happend....

Because when i look at u I still see everything u've done... eventho I say i've forgiven u... I haven't... i'm waiting 4 u to fuck up.. to cheat... to leave and pretend we're still friends... but we're not... we stopped being friends a long time ago.... i'm still very resentfull about it all... i don't want to be, but i can't help it ... and the worst part is... even tho i've tried... i can't cheat on u like u cheated on me... I can't.... maybe i'm dumb, but i don't want bad things coming out of me... u can be an asshole and destroy everything but i can't do it....

I will never be like u.... You're phenomenal. You're so clever. You can do something i'll never be able to do... lie to my face... to the face of many people... to say: yes dear i love u... but all points out that love isn't enough 4 u.... Let's say u were once inlove... but you still managed to deceiving her so exquisitely!! and u stayed!! That's what really gets to me!! .... because for me when i make a mistake and I don't want to lie but I can't tell the truth.....it's over. Even if lies are the currency of the world i can't do it!

My real question to you is... why should it be different with me????????? why won't u do it again... I hear u say how much u hate what u became but hey!! u made ur own bed... but I keep hearing u go "Oops" as if you had no choice?..... There's a moment, there's always a moment, "I can do this, I can give into this, or I can resist it", and I don't know when your moment was, but I bet there was one.... and u chose to give in....

When that moment comes now... now that you're with me.... what will you're choice be??
I know now that you don't know the first thing about love, because you don't understand compromise..... Where is this love u always speak of? I can't see it, I can't touch it. I can't feel it. I can hear it. I can hear some words, but I can't do anything with your easy words

I look at your eyes and.... shit! Deception is brutal