Looking Back

Jose has inspired me to start writing again..maybe it'll help gert pass all this bullshit..last year sucked big time and i still cant get it all out...so maybe this is a good idea..
Lets hope it works... i'll try writing more in spanish but i have to admit it's easier in english 4 me
Lets see...i'll start by saying that everyone i love died last year..i lost my grandparents...they once took the place my father left empty and filled it wityh love and joy...now they're gone and i have the hole inside me that nothing can make go away... i've tried it all... alcohol, drugs, sex...but there's nothing that can make me enjoy life again...everything that was onces fun it's not anymore and i just hope all this doesn't affect my grades but it has a bit...
this semmester will be different..i'm on Ipran now so i hope my concentration improves and my mood as well...
I have great friends...more male that females for some reason... but the few women friends i have are awesome...i've known them 4 years now and i guess that's why i trust them like i do....
This weekend one of them is comming to visit me... her and a male friend of course... no feelings there... just a friend...lets hope its ok.... and that we have fun